Why did I get married the first time?
Simply put, I married for a job… I wanted to be a Police Officer and the Department frowned on hiring single Officers because they felt that married Officers were generally more “stable” and thus better candidates for Officers.
To say my first marriage was disastrous would be an understatement. In the beginning it wasn’t so bad but as the time and years went by, I began to think I was living within the fires of hell with the devil and my wife taking turns poking me with a red hot fork.
It took some time before I was able to successfully separate myself from that situation and obtain a divorce. After a period of bachelorhood it became apparent that it was time to try again and re-enter the bonds and shackles of a real relationship.
After all, old man time was creeping up on me fast. I had to think about the day when I could no longer do things for myself, remedial tasks we take for granted everyday, like being able to change my depends.
So, I began to ask myself who would be there to assist if and when I was unable to do these things on my own? My dogs are loyal and faithful companions but lack the intelligence and dexterity to help me in that way.
It became apparent that I needed a woman in my life but living in a very small community at the end of the earth does present challenges in meeting people. I could trot on down to the local pub and pick out a nice aged, vintage toothless model.
Or I could turn to cyberspace.
Let the search begin.
If you are familiar with the online dating scene you may have been unfortunate enough to meet a few people through cyberspace, only to find out when you actually met that they had not been entirely upfront with you.
For example, the picture they used in their profile was taken when they were 20 years younger, and 300 pounds lighter.
"Oh, I put on a few pounds since that picture was taken".
No kidding? A few?
Or maybe they were in the "non-separation" type of separation phase from their possibly soon to be ex-spouse.
"Well yeah, ok, he doesn't live with me anymore, but we are still friends" and he comes over to see the kids. They need their daddy.
Right. Maybe it’s what YOU need.
Or, she had 12 more children than she originally had told you.
"Oh, I forgot to mention the children I have from my 4 ex's. But they don't live with me".
Lady, you don't have kids. You have a litter!
So I was beginning to give up and resign myself to a life of living like an 1800’s Mountain Man. I would grow a long beard, live off the land and go to town once a year to do some trading.. Mebbe even trade me some beaver pelts for a woman. Soon enough I found myself slowing down to check out the sheep grazing on the side of the road.
I knew I needed to do something, and fast.
After a series of trial and errors I finally met someone who had been truthful with me, and was extremely cute to boot.
Sher came along in 2005 and after a week or two of online conversations we felt as if the time was right to finally meet. We arranged for a meeting at our finest local one and only pub.
Since I wanted to do things right and really impress her I called ahead and made reservations for the finest dirty table in the establishment.
Sher brought along her bodyguard, Teresa.
I brought my anxiety.
It’s always awkward when you finally meet that person you had been conversing with all this time. You may not have any trouble making conversation over the internet, or telephone, but it is entirely different when you finally meet that person face to face. Uhhh.
We spent an hour or so sitting across the table from each other doing our best to make conversation, as nervous as I was, I managed to hold my own. The seventeen shots of tequila I had before I arrived probably helped somewhat. I didn’t think it was going that well.
Skip forward to the present day.
My darling Sherilyn has learned to adjust to my little quirks and mood swings and I have adjusted to hers. Of course she has many more "quirks" than I do because she is Canadian.
She has also accepted my smelly dogs which she knows are more like children to me than pets. And I have accepted that damn cat of hers.
To say I am nervous about being married again is an understatement of gigantic proportions. The wedding day is around a month away and I plan to start drinking early that morning...Or maybe now.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Conquer the Five Most Common Fears About Your Wedding Ceremony
It's safe to say that of all the important events in your lifetime, your wedding day is certain to be right up there with those that are the most meaningful. And throughout the entire wedding day - the preparations, the ceremony, the reception, and the wedding night - the moment when you recite your wedding vows to each other is the most meaningful. It is a time that you will remember forever, exactly as it felt: a sublime, dreamlike fantastical moment, when everyone significant to you is watching as you join in wedlock with the most important individual in your life.
Conquering Your Fears
Since this is such a unique and central moment to your romantic life, you're probably wondering how it is that you'll make the experience better than that 10th grade public-speaking assignment where you blanked out halfway through and fainted in front of all of your peers. Begin by telling yourself that it is perfectly natural to feel nervous when speaking in public. Moreover, not everyone is born with perfect public-speaking skills that accurately demonstrate what they feel in their hearts. However, fortunately for the majority of us, these things can be learned.
Of course, being well-prepared and armed with wedding vows you know are the absolute best they could possibly be is one of the easiest ways to overcome these fears. How do I know? Because the home-study course I put together, The Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit, has helped hundreds of couples take the fear out of their wedding ceremony by giving them the tools they need to write truly amazing wedding vows. You can find out more about the kit at http://www.weddingvowtoolkit.com.
But beyond that, when you think logically about each of these fears, you'll realize there is nothing that cannot be overcome with a bit of care, technique, and practice. Let's take a realistic look at these five incredibly common worries. In a few minutes, you'll see that none of them are likely to spoil your ceremony.
Common Fear #1: Freezing Up
This is a direct result of being excessively nervous. Therefore, it's important to come up with some calming techniques that will help you to keep cool. It's only natural to be a bit nervous. In fact, the added rush from being a little on the anxious side can actually help you to speak better and with added feeling. The best technique that you can give yourself is breathing. Most often, when we are overly frightened, we either breathe much too quickly or we hold our breath. Therefore, as you're keeping yourself calm, concentrate on breathing smoothly, neither too fast or too slow, but regularly, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Practice a few times in advance, especially in other situations that you've found a bit stressful in the past. You'll be surprised at what an enormous difference something as simple as breathing can do for you.
Common Fear #2: Going Blank
This is another trick played by your overly-nervous brain. To stop yourself from becoming so nervous that you go blank, or even to remove any fear that you may go blank, bring a "backup" copy of your wedding vows on cue cards that you can slip into your pocket. Make sure they are very crisp and neat looking so that you won't hesitate to use them if you have to, and write clearly on them so that you won't get stuck due to sloppiness.
Common Fear #3: Blushing, Dry Mouth, and Shaking.
These are extremely common physical responses to being nervous and having to perform in front of others. However, even if they do begin to occur, you can bring yourself to a calmer state where these physical symptoms will begin to fade. Try to ignore blushing and shaking as much as possible and just concentrate on your vows and how much you love the person to whom you are making those vows. With regards to dry mouth, drink lots of water beforehand, and try not to think about it. As long as you concentrate on what you're doing, instead of the fact that you are blushing, shaking, or have a dry mouth, they will actually begin to resolve themselves quite quickly.
Common Fear #4: Having Someone Heckle
This is a common fear, but it simply doesn't happen at weddings. Remind yourself that everyone there with you is hoping the very best for you and your future spouse. They are all nervous right along with you and wouldn't dream of saying anything but best wishes for your future together. The closest they will come to "heckling" is sending a mental prayer to provide you the strength and the courage to continue so that you may enjoy long and happy lives together.
Common Fear #5: Being Judged
The people attending your wedding are all people who know you, like or love you, and who wish you the very best. They know how much adrenaline is running through your system as you say your wedding vows, and wouldn't judge you at a time like that; except to think about how well suited you are to the love of your life.
Chris Simeral's Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit has helped hundreds of people across the U.S., Canada, and Great Britain compose completely personalized and ultra-romantic wedding vows. Find out more at http://www.WeddingVowToolkit.com.
Conquering Your Fears
Since this is such a unique and central moment to your romantic life, you're probably wondering how it is that you'll make the experience better than that 10th grade public-speaking assignment where you blanked out halfway through and fainted in front of all of your peers. Begin by telling yourself that it is perfectly natural to feel nervous when speaking in public. Moreover, not everyone is born with perfect public-speaking skills that accurately demonstrate what they feel in their hearts. However, fortunately for the majority of us, these things can be learned.
Of course, being well-prepared and armed with wedding vows you know are the absolute best they could possibly be is one of the easiest ways to overcome these fears. How do I know? Because the home-study course I put together, The Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit, has helped hundreds of couples take the fear out of their wedding ceremony by giving them the tools they need to write truly amazing wedding vows. You can find out more about the kit at http://www.weddingvowtoolkit.com.
But beyond that, when you think logically about each of these fears, you'll realize there is nothing that cannot be overcome with a bit of care, technique, and practice. Let's take a realistic look at these five incredibly common worries. In a few minutes, you'll see that none of them are likely to spoil your ceremony.
Common Fear #1: Freezing Up
This is a direct result of being excessively nervous. Therefore, it's important to come up with some calming techniques that will help you to keep cool. It's only natural to be a bit nervous. In fact, the added rush from being a little on the anxious side can actually help you to speak better and with added feeling. The best technique that you can give yourself is breathing. Most often, when we are overly frightened, we either breathe much too quickly or we hold our breath. Therefore, as you're keeping yourself calm, concentrate on breathing smoothly, neither too fast or too slow, but regularly, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Practice a few times in advance, especially in other situations that you've found a bit stressful in the past. You'll be surprised at what an enormous difference something as simple as breathing can do for you.
Common Fear #2: Going Blank
This is another trick played by your overly-nervous brain. To stop yourself from becoming so nervous that you go blank, or even to remove any fear that you may go blank, bring a "backup" copy of your wedding vows on cue cards that you can slip into your pocket. Make sure they are very crisp and neat looking so that you won't hesitate to use them if you have to, and write clearly on them so that you won't get stuck due to sloppiness.
Common Fear #3: Blushing, Dry Mouth, and Shaking.
These are extremely common physical responses to being nervous and having to perform in front of others. However, even if they do begin to occur, you can bring yourself to a calmer state where these physical symptoms will begin to fade. Try to ignore blushing and shaking as much as possible and just concentrate on your vows and how much you love the person to whom you are making those vows. With regards to dry mouth, drink lots of water beforehand, and try not to think about it. As long as you concentrate on what you're doing, instead of the fact that you are blushing, shaking, or have a dry mouth, they will actually begin to resolve themselves quite quickly.
Common Fear #4: Having Someone Heckle
This is a common fear, but it simply doesn't happen at weddings. Remind yourself that everyone there with you is hoping the very best for you and your future spouse. They are all nervous right along with you and wouldn't dream of saying anything but best wishes for your future together. The closest they will come to "heckling" is sending a mental prayer to provide you the strength and the courage to continue so that you may enjoy long and happy lives together.
Common Fear #5: Being Judged
The people attending your wedding are all people who know you, like or love you, and who wish you the very best. They know how much adrenaline is running through your system as you say your wedding vows, and wouldn't judge you at a time like that; except to think about how well suited you are to the love of your life.
Chris Simeral's Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit has helped hundreds of people across the U.S., Canada, and Great Britain compose completely personalized and ultra-romantic wedding vows. Find out more at http://www.WeddingVowToolkit.com.
The SURGE of the URGE!
Have you ever heard the expression, "The Urge to Merge"?
It is a term relating to sexuality and marriage. The "URGE" symbolizes sexual interest, and the "MERGE" symbolizes marriage union.
We see it all around us!
Late night TV bombards us with sexual images and sensual content. Commercials that have nothing to do with sex use a sensual foundation to market to the masses. More than ever in history our minds seem to be more interested in the sex-drive channel than in channeling the sex-drive.
We call this, "The SURGE of the URGE".
Let's travel back in time about sixty years before we became so technologically advanced and started opening up the bedroom door for anyone with an appetite and "prying eyes". Many of the older generation know of what time I speak! Back when some things were still considered sacred and "The SURGE of the URGE" was yet in the future.
It used to be that life was about marriage and family principles. It used to be that faith and family were the criteria for determining life success. In other words, it was about the "MERGE". Family and relationship building principles for living was the norm.
Then came The Beatles, Elvis, Rock-and-Roll and yes, Hugh Hefner and Playboy.
Gradually our society began to shift its thinking and embrace a mindset for the "URGE" itself. The sexual revolution stepped onto the horizon, and "The SURGE of the URGE" was born and became the focus.
Sadly, and to our demise I might add, the "MERGE" has been placed on the shelf and in many cases mocked and ridiculed.
For over fifty years now we have been a world dominated with a fascination for the "URGE".
Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, Strip Clubs, Porn Movies, Girls Gone Wild, Spring Break, Wild On, etc. The Music Industry lyrics display this same "URGE" mentality and, of course, let's not forget the recent Halftime Super Bowl antics.
We even went through a time in recent history where the "URGE" became the main topic of conversation surrounding the Presidency of the United States.
Maybe, instead of just enacting and enforcing laws and high-dollar fines...maybe, instead of just issues of censorship...maybe, instead of just battling it out in the boardroom and courtroom...maybe we should do something so foreign as to go back to the shelf, dust off the idea that marriage and family life is where it's really at and get our focus back on the importance of the "MERGE".
Being wanted for a "Night of a Lifetime" can never fully satisfy, fulfill or replace the greatest longing of our hearts for being wanted for a "Lifetime of Nights".
Let's all consider taking the "MERGE" down from the shelf. Marriage and family life will always play the greatest role in our civilization.
The greatest gift we will ever give the world is a stable home.
(C)Copyright 2004 Stanley J. Leffew
All Rights Reserved!
Stanley J. Leffew is the Author of, "How To Be Wanted For a Lifetime of Nights and Not Just a Night of a Lifetime". His website is based on this same theme. Find out for yourself why feeding desire and leading-with-the-body in life and relationships fails to satisfy the longing of the human heart to connect at http://advice-for-lifetime-relationships.com
It is a term relating to sexuality and marriage. The "URGE" symbolizes sexual interest, and the "MERGE" symbolizes marriage union.
We see it all around us!
Late night TV bombards us with sexual images and sensual content. Commercials that have nothing to do with sex use a sensual foundation to market to the masses. More than ever in history our minds seem to be more interested in the sex-drive channel than in channeling the sex-drive.
We call this, "The SURGE of the URGE".
Let's travel back in time about sixty years before we became so technologically advanced and started opening up the bedroom door for anyone with an appetite and "prying eyes". Many of the older generation know of what time I speak! Back when some things were still considered sacred and "The SURGE of the URGE" was yet in the future.
It used to be that life was about marriage and family principles. It used to be that faith and family were the criteria for determining life success. In other words, it was about the "MERGE". Family and relationship building principles for living was the norm.
Then came The Beatles, Elvis, Rock-and-Roll and yes, Hugh Hefner and Playboy.
Gradually our society began to shift its thinking and embrace a mindset for the "URGE" itself. The sexual revolution stepped onto the horizon, and "The SURGE of the URGE" was born and became the focus.
Sadly, and to our demise I might add, the "MERGE" has been placed on the shelf and in many cases mocked and ridiculed.
For over fifty years now we have been a world dominated with a fascination for the "URGE".
Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, Strip Clubs, Porn Movies, Girls Gone Wild, Spring Break, Wild On, etc. The Music Industry lyrics display this same "URGE" mentality and, of course, let's not forget the recent Halftime Super Bowl antics.
We even went through a time in recent history where the "URGE" became the main topic of conversation surrounding the Presidency of the United States.
Maybe, instead of just enacting and enforcing laws and high-dollar fines...maybe, instead of just issues of censorship...maybe, instead of just battling it out in the boardroom and courtroom...maybe we should do something so foreign as to go back to the shelf, dust off the idea that marriage and family life is where it's really at and get our focus back on the importance of the "MERGE".
Being wanted for a "Night of a Lifetime" can never fully satisfy, fulfill or replace the greatest longing of our hearts for being wanted for a "Lifetime of Nights".
Let's all consider taking the "MERGE" down from the shelf. Marriage and family life will always play the greatest role in our civilization.
The greatest gift we will ever give the world is a stable home.
(C)Copyright 2004 Stanley J. Leffew
All Rights Reserved!
Stanley J. Leffew is the Author of, "How To Be Wanted For a Lifetime of Nights and Not Just a Night of a Lifetime". His website is based on this same theme. Find out for yourself why feeding desire and leading-with-the-body in life and relationships fails to satisfy the longing of the human heart to connect at http://advice-for-lifetime-relationships.com
Enhancing Communication in Marriage
In marriages, many arguments and hurt feelings can be traced back to communication problems. It's not unusual for spouses to stay in a continual state of frustration, feeling misunderstood and unappreciated.
Unexpressed feelings can pile up and poison the relationship. When you repress your anger, it will always come out later, usually after something minor has upset you.
You may find that it's difficult to have a complete conversation without you or your spouse leaving the room before the conflict is resolved. The emotional buttons that your spouse pushes in you can make you want to bolt and get away from your uncomfortable feelings and reactions.
Learning to communicate more effectively with your spouse requires that you be fully present and attentive. You have to be committed to really listening and hearing, not only with your ears but also with your heart. You want to eliminate any communication blocks that prevent you and your partner from growing in understanding and intimacy.
Communication blocks are anything that you do, verbally or non-verbally, to keep you from connecting deeply with another person. Some examples of communication blocks in marriage are:
* Rolling your eyes and looking resigned or exasperated when your spouse is talking;
* Sighing deeply and loudly when your spouse is sharing his/her viewpoint;
* Looking at your watch or a clock repeatedly;
* Not stopping what you're doing when your spouse is trying to have a serious talk with you;
* Not making eye contact and not giving your partner your undivided attention;
* Using the time when your spouse is talking to think about other things unrelated to the conversation;
* Tuning your spouse out because you've heard the same thing repeatedly and are convinced it's the same old speech;
* Becoming defensive and angry immediately instead of showing your partner the respect of hearing him/her out;
* Belittling your spouse, name calling, cursing, shaking or pointing a finger, or getting in his/ her face.
* Interrupting your partner before he/she is finished talking.
It has been said that for every minute you are angry with someone, you lose sixty seconds of happiness that you can never get back. It just makes good sense to do everything you can to preserve the good will and intimacy of your marriage when conflict, anger, hurt feelings, and disagreements occur.
If you truly love your partner, you will not want to rip him/her to shreds verbally, or to ignore or discount differing opinions and beliefs. You will want to do everything you can to insure that you have quality communication in your relationship and that you are communicating your caring, love, and respect to your spouse
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give." While you cannot control how someone else will react to your efforts, you can commit to doing all you can to create a safe environment where intimacy can flourish.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" The e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com , where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Contact Nancy at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.
Unexpressed feelings can pile up and poison the relationship. When you repress your anger, it will always come out later, usually after something minor has upset you.
You may find that it's difficult to have a complete conversation without you or your spouse leaving the room before the conflict is resolved. The emotional buttons that your spouse pushes in you can make you want to bolt and get away from your uncomfortable feelings and reactions.
Learning to communicate more effectively with your spouse requires that you be fully present and attentive. You have to be committed to really listening and hearing, not only with your ears but also with your heart. You want to eliminate any communication blocks that prevent you and your partner from growing in understanding and intimacy.
Communication blocks are anything that you do, verbally or non-verbally, to keep you from connecting deeply with another person. Some examples of communication blocks in marriage are:
* Rolling your eyes and looking resigned or exasperated when your spouse is talking;
* Sighing deeply and loudly when your spouse is sharing his/her viewpoint;
* Looking at your watch or a clock repeatedly;
* Not stopping what you're doing when your spouse is trying to have a serious talk with you;
* Not making eye contact and not giving your partner your undivided attention;
* Using the time when your spouse is talking to think about other things unrelated to the conversation;
* Tuning your spouse out because you've heard the same thing repeatedly and are convinced it's the same old speech;
* Becoming defensive and angry immediately instead of showing your partner the respect of hearing him/her out;
* Belittling your spouse, name calling, cursing, shaking or pointing a finger, or getting in his/ her face.
* Interrupting your partner before he/she is finished talking.
It has been said that for every minute you are angry with someone, you lose sixty seconds of happiness that you can never get back. It just makes good sense to do everything you can to preserve the good will and intimacy of your marriage when conflict, anger, hurt feelings, and disagreements occur.
If you truly love your partner, you will not want to rip him/her to shreds verbally, or to ignore or discount differing opinions and beliefs. You will want to do everything you can to insure that you have quality communication in your relationship and that you are communicating your caring, love, and respect to your spouse
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give." While you cannot control how someone else will react to your efforts, you can commit to doing all you can to create a safe environment where intimacy can flourish.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" The e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com , where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Contact Nancy at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.
Saving Money on Photography for Your Wedding
Weddings are momentous occasions to all people involved; especially the families of the bride and groom. One very important aspect of a wedding is to commemorate the event with beautiful pictures so that the day never really disappears.
Hiring professional photographers is usually the preferred way for couples to capture the moments of their wedding forever. Professional photographers can charge an obscene amount of money for their services at times, but there are a few ways that you can save money on photography at your wedding.
Here are some of things that you can do to save some of your money for the honeymoon instead. Let's take a look at what you can do.
1. Place disposable cameras on tables at your reception and let your guests capture special moments for you.
2. Ask a friend or family member to take special photos of the ceremony for you or videotape it
3. Check at colleges and universities who are studying photography and hire a student to do it. You can get professional looking photos for a fraction of the price.
4. Have your photographs taken before the wedding by having your wedding party to gather together at a professional photographer's shop
5. Have your photos taken before the ceremony and keep the negatives yourself so that you can develop them later and make prints
During one of the most important days in your life, pictures and videos can make the day last forever. The above mentioned tips can also make sure that you will not go broke in the process.
When it comes to the disposable cameras, you can often find cameras that are decorated with wedding themes. If you can't, you can have the bridal party decorate them instead.
Using digital cameras can limit the amount of pictures that you have to take while making them easy to reproduce. Digital camera technology can make even an amateur take professional looking pictures. You can even use the prints to create thank you cards later that are personalized that show the guests and/or the bridal party.
Mia LaCron is the founder of Cut-Wedding-Costs.info - http://www.cut-wedding-costs.info - devoted to helping individuals live out the wedding of their dreams on a realistic budget they can afford.
Hiring professional photographers is usually the preferred way for couples to capture the moments of their wedding forever. Professional photographers can charge an obscene amount of money for their services at times, but there are a few ways that you can save money on photography at your wedding.
Here are some of things that you can do to save some of your money for the honeymoon instead. Let's take a look at what you can do.
1. Place disposable cameras on tables at your reception and let your guests capture special moments for you.
2. Ask a friend or family member to take special photos of the ceremony for you or videotape it
3. Check at colleges and universities who are studying photography and hire a student to do it. You can get professional looking photos for a fraction of the price.
4. Have your photographs taken before the wedding by having your wedding party to gather together at a professional photographer's shop
5. Have your photos taken before the ceremony and keep the negatives yourself so that you can develop them later and make prints
During one of the most important days in your life, pictures and videos can make the day last forever. The above mentioned tips can also make sure that you will not go broke in the process.
When it comes to the disposable cameras, you can often find cameras that are decorated with wedding themes. If you can't, you can have the bridal party decorate them instead.
Using digital cameras can limit the amount of pictures that you have to take while making them easy to reproduce. Digital camera technology can make even an amateur take professional looking pictures. You can even use the prints to create thank you cards later that are personalized that show the guests and/or the bridal party.
Mia LaCron is the founder of Cut-Wedding-Costs.info - http://www.cut-wedding-costs.info - devoted to helping individuals live out the wedding of their dreams on a realistic budget they can afford.
Wedding Dresses - How to Select the Best One for You
Every bride would agree that her wedding dress should be perfect - not only does she want to look her best, on her special day, but her wedding dress also is the center of everybody's attention. But how would you select the best one for you? Here is advice about selecting the best dress for your wedding.
Your wedding dress style should much the wedding style
Do you plan a very formal wedding in a cathedral or is it going to be an informal beach ceremony? Before deciding on the dress, you should decide how formal your wedding is going to be. A long and puffy princess style wedding dress is no longer your only option - informal weddings and beach weddings are progressively becoming more popular. So now you can find all kinds of wedding dresses - short or tea length dresses, colored wedding dresses and even white sarongs, for a Hawaiian wedding.
One advantage to an informal wedding dress is that it is much cheaper and more comfortable. Also, while a formal wedding gown almost always needs serious alteration, an informal dress is much easier to fit. So if you don't have that much time left before you wedding, an informal dress could be a good choice.
How to chose the right bridal salon.
If you want to find the best dress, you will need to spend a couple of days visiting different salons. However, before you visit a bridal shop it is a good idea to call them and ask a few questions - this will save you trips to places that would only waste your time. When ringing a bridal salon you should ask:
Can you just come to the shop or is an appointment required?
What dresses styles do they have and what is the price range?
Are alterations free and, if not, how much do they cost?
If they don't have dresses in your size, can one be ordered?
Do they also carry bridal accessories, like hair decorations, veils and shoes?
Can they hold a dress you like for a couple of days?
When you get to the shop, try as many dresses as necessary, until you find the perfect one. Don't listen to the sales person, when they say that the first dress you try on is great and you should take it. Remember they want to sell the dress and it is their job to say it looks great, even if in fact it is hideous.
When you finally find the dress that you always dreamed of, ask them to put it on hold; don't let them convince you that you should buy it straightaway. Return to the shop the next day and look at your dress again - you would be amazed how often something that seemed perfect, after trying on 10 different dresses, won't impress you when you see it with a fresh eye. However, if you look at your dress again and feel "yes this is the one", than it is time to buy it.
Tanya Turner is a fashion expert and a founder of http://www.Cheap-Wedding-Dresses.info where you can find unbiased information about wedding dress styles, what is in fashion and how to get your wedding dress at a reasonable price
Your wedding dress style should much the wedding style
Do you plan a very formal wedding in a cathedral or is it going to be an informal beach ceremony? Before deciding on the dress, you should decide how formal your wedding is going to be. A long and puffy princess style wedding dress is no longer your only option - informal weddings and beach weddings are progressively becoming more popular. So now you can find all kinds of wedding dresses - short or tea length dresses, colored wedding dresses and even white sarongs, for a Hawaiian wedding.
One advantage to an informal wedding dress is that it is much cheaper and more comfortable. Also, while a formal wedding gown almost always needs serious alteration, an informal dress is much easier to fit. So if you don't have that much time left before you wedding, an informal dress could be a good choice.
How to chose the right bridal salon.
If you want to find the best dress, you will need to spend a couple of days visiting different salons. However, before you visit a bridal shop it is a good idea to call them and ask a few questions - this will save you trips to places that would only waste your time. When ringing a bridal salon you should ask:
Can you just come to the shop or is an appointment required?
What dresses styles do they have and what is the price range?
Are alterations free and, if not, how much do they cost?
If they don't have dresses in your size, can one be ordered?
Do they also carry bridal accessories, like hair decorations, veils and shoes?
Can they hold a dress you like for a couple of days?
When you get to the shop, try as many dresses as necessary, until you find the perfect one. Don't listen to the sales person, when they say that the first dress you try on is great and you should take it. Remember they want to sell the dress and it is their job to say it looks great, even if in fact it is hideous.
When you finally find the dress that you always dreamed of, ask them to put it on hold; don't let them convince you that you should buy it straightaway. Return to the shop the next day and look at your dress again - you would be amazed how often something that seemed perfect, after trying on 10 different dresses, won't impress you when you see it with a fresh eye. However, if you look at your dress again and feel "yes this is the one", than it is time to buy it.
Tanya Turner is a fashion expert and a founder of http://www.Cheap-Wedding-Dresses.info where you can find unbiased information about wedding dress styles, what is in fashion and how to get your wedding dress at a reasonable price
Writing Your Wedding Vows the Way Poets Do
Let's face it, not many of us have the kind of skills or experience to write truly poetic wedding vows. Or do we? Here's the truth: Even if you don't know Dylan Thomas from Bob Dylan, and you're pretty sure T.S. Elliot was that guy who wrote the words to Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Cats," all is not lost! In fact, there are ways to learn to write the words you want. With four simple steps, you can take what you feel in your heart and make it come out as sweetly as any Shakespearian sonnet.
Step 1: Decide on a theme
Finding a theme should arguably be the easiest part of writing poetry for your wedding vows. But you don't want to be stuck with something trite or cliché, even though the theme of romantic love is probably the oldest known for poetry. There are lots of ways to avoid writing the same old "roses are red, violets are blue" type of poem. One trick the pros use is to envision what a newspaper article about your relationship would say. Would it discuss how and where you met? How your relationship has stayed strong, even during the hard times? What your love has meant to one another? Since newspaper articles get right to the point, this exercise can help you pick out an overriding theme for your vows.
Step 2: Allow time for reverie
No, not "revelry" (hopefully that will be what your wedding day is all about), but reverie - a quiet time devoted to a kind of dreamy meditation. Try some tricks for allowing yourself time to truly think about your poem -- and not just those things that allow you to "act like a poet." Go for a walk alone, listen to instrumental music, or simply shut the door to a room in your house and ask not to be disturbed. The most important thing to remember with any of these methods is that you don't let other people interrupt your time.
Step 3: Choose your topic
Theme, as discussed above, is the driving idea behind your poem. The topic, however, is the specific vehicle you use to express the theme. While finding the theme should be the easiest part of writing a poem for your wedding, finding a topic that isn't hackneyed and trite can be a challenge. For instance, love is your theme, but the beauty of your betrothed's eyes may be the topic. You are using the example of her eyes as the symbol for your love. The key is to find something new. There's something that makes your chosen one special, be it appearance, wit, or style. That's the topic you want to choose. Poets use tools like automatic writing, journals, or "dream work" to come up with topics for their prose. (These tools are all discussed in detail in the home-study course I put together for couples personalizing their wedding vows - visit http://www.WeddingVowToolkit.com for more info.) But anything that allows you to spark your creativity can suffice if you're short on time.
Step 4: Pick Your Style
As many different poems as there are, there are almost an equal number of styles in which they are written. There are traditional forms, modern, post modern, and many more. You can work on fitting your rough draft poem into one of these many forms, or you can go with no form at all. The benefit of working on an art form is that there are no hard and fast rules on what the end product must look like. Perhaps you'd like to try your hand at penning your vows in the form of a Shakespearean sonnet. Or, to go a completely different route, maybe "experimental" is right up your alley. No matter what you choose, just make sure it fits your style. After all, personalizing your wedding vows means just that - they should be personal, not forced to fit into a style that just isn't "you."
Chris Simeral is the creator of The Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit, the wedding-coordinator-approved home-study course for couples personalizing or renewing their wedding vows. Learn more at http://www.WeddingVowToolkit.com.
Step 1: Decide on a theme
Finding a theme should arguably be the easiest part of writing poetry for your wedding vows. But you don't want to be stuck with something trite or cliché, even though the theme of romantic love is probably the oldest known for poetry. There are lots of ways to avoid writing the same old "roses are red, violets are blue" type of poem. One trick the pros use is to envision what a newspaper article about your relationship would say. Would it discuss how and where you met? How your relationship has stayed strong, even during the hard times? What your love has meant to one another? Since newspaper articles get right to the point, this exercise can help you pick out an overriding theme for your vows.
Step 2: Allow time for reverie
No, not "revelry" (hopefully that will be what your wedding day is all about), but reverie - a quiet time devoted to a kind of dreamy meditation. Try some tricks for allowing yourself time to truly think about your poem -- and not just those things that allow you to "act like a poet." Go for a walk alone, listen to instrumental music, or simply shut the door to a room in your house and ask not to be disturbed. The most important thing to remember with any of these methods is that you don't let other people interrupt your time.
Step 3: Choose your topic
Theme, as discussed above, is the driving idea behind your poem. The topic, however, is the specific vehicle you use to express the theme. While finding the theme should be the easiest part of writing a poem for your wedding, finding a topic that isn't hackneyed and trite can be a challenge. For instance, love is your theme, but the beauty of your betrothed's eyes may be the topic. You are using the example of her eyes as the symbol for your love. The key is to find something new. There's something that makes your chosen one special, be it appearance, wit, or style. That's the topic you want to choose. Poets use tools like automatic writing, journals, or "dream work" to come up with topics for their prose. (These tools are all discussed in detail in the home-study course I put together for couples personalizing their wedding vows - visit http://www.WeddingVowToolkit.com for more info.) But anything that allows you to spark your creativity can suffice if you're short on time.
Step 4: Pick Your Style
As many different poems as there are, there are almost an equal number of styles in which they are written. There are traditional forms, modern, post modern, and many more. You can work on fitting your rough draft poem into one of these many forms, or you can go with no form at all. The benefit of working on an art form is that there are no hard and fast rules on what the end product must look like. Perhaps you'd like to try your hand at penning your vows in the form of a Shakespearean sonnet. Or, to go a completely different route, maybe "experimental" is right up your alley. No matter what you choose, just make sure it fits your style. After all, personalizing your wedding vows means just that - they should be personal, not forced to fit into a style that just isn't "you."
Chris Simeral is the creator of The Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit, the wedding-coordinator-approved home-study course for couples personalizing or renewing their wedding vows. Learn more at http://www.WeddingVowToolkit.com.
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